Halloween: Hell No
Words by Mary Alayne B. Long
Fall is in the air, leaves are on the ground and Halloween is right around the corner. For children and adults alike this is a fun time to dress up and play pretend in all sorts of fun ways. Unfortunately, many adults take things a bit too far with their costumes and often end up in scary, racy or generally inappropriate ensembles. Hopefully these guidelines will help you stay on track as you choose your attire for your Halloween office party or neighborhood get together.
Trick or Treat doesn’t mean that kind of “trick”. If you could use your costume as swimwear —or perhaps a hand towel— you don’t have on enough clothes. There’s noting festive about dressing like a prostitute and prancing around in public while you are 1/2 (or 3/4) naked. Save the skimpy, skin tight get-ups for private times and make sure you leave at least a little something to the imagination.
You are not a movie star. Everyone has their own favorite horror film and whether you grew up with Michael Myers, Freddie Kruger or Jason; you shouldn’t choose to emulate them if you’re going to be anywhere near children. Avoid graphic masks, fake blood and plastic knives or guns. Take care to be aware of your surroundings and make sure any costume you choose won’t seem scary to little ones.
You’re smarter than that. If you need to go for the joke that’s fine. If you need to go for the obscene joke, that’s sad. You are an adult. You are smart. You know better. Don’t wear vulgar or suggestive costumes no matter where you’re going. There are plenty of fun and funny costume ideas that will keep your friends laughing without exasperating them.
Cinderella does NOT approve. Often times adult princess costumes look as though they were borrowed from someone’s little sister. As a general rule, if you can find children’s pajamas that match you costume—you should not be wearing a sexy or provocative version of it.
Pray it safe. If you’re at a complete loss for a costume this year, you could always choose to dress like someone from The Bible. Try dressing as an angel (a real angel, not a Victoria’s Secret angel), a wise man or for a couple; Mary and Joseph. Even the most lost soul you may encounter won’t be disgruntled with your costume if you choose to emulate a Biblical character.